Why do men find it harder to ask for mental health support?

Why is it harder for men to ask for help?

Many men find it hard to talk about how they feel. The government's men's health strategy for England recognises that men can be less likely to seek help and more likely to suffer in silence, and that expectations around being a man can affect how they use health services.

Those expectations often start early. Many men grow up with the idea that they should be strong, cope on their own and not make a fuss. Admitting that you are struggling can feel like letting people down, and some men worry about being judged at work or seen differently by friends. Others simply do not recognise what they are feeling as a mental health problem, or do not know where to start.

Why does it matter?

Mental health problems are common, and most people recover with the right support. But putting off getting help can let problems build. The most serious outcome is suicide. In 2024, according to the Office for National Statistics, around three quarters of suicides registered in England and Wales were men, and the rate was highest in men aged 50 to 54. The men's health strategy notes that suicide remains the leading cause of death in men under 50.

These figures are a reason to talk more openly, not a reason to panic. Suicide is not inevitable, and support works.

What are the signs to look out for?

Low mood does not always look like sadness. The mental health charity Mind lists signs of depression that include feeling angry or frustrated over minor things, losing interest in things you usually enjoy, sleeping too much or too little, and using more alcohol, tobacco or other drugs than usual.

You might notice these signs in yourself, or in a friend, partner or colleague. Someone who has become withdrawn, short-tempered or is drinking more than usual may be finding things hard, even if they say they are fine.

How can you start the conversation?

For many men, the hardest part is the first step. It can help to talk to someone you trust while doing something else, such as on a walk, in the car or over a coffee, rather than face to face across a table. You do not need the right words. Saying "I have not been feeling myself lately" is enough to start.

If you are worried about someone else, ask them how they are really doing, and ask twice if they brush it off. Listen without trying to fix everything, and let them know you are there.

Where can you get support?

Your GP is a good place to start, and can talk you through options such as talking therapies or medicine. In England, you can also refer yourself to NHS talking therapies without seeing a GP first, for problems such as anxiety and depression. Many employers also offer an employee assistance programme with free, confidential counselling.

If you need to talk to someone now:

• call Samaritans free on 116 123, any time of day or night
• call CALM, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, on 0800 58 58 58, from 5pm to midnight every day, or use its webchat
• contact NHS 111 online or by phone if you need urgent help for your mental health

If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A and E.

How can workplaces help?

Workplaces can make it easier for men to speak up. Managers who check in regularly, talk openly about their own wellbeing and make support easy to find send a clear message that asking for help is normal. Mental health training for line managers, and reminding people about the employee assistance programme, can help someone take that first step.

You can read how one colleague looks after his own health in Rob's story.